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Challenge #3: In your own space, Scream Into the Void. Get it all out.
I've been in fandom for a very long time -- over half my life, and I've seen fandom (by which I mostly mean fanworks-style fandom) go from a sort of niche hobby to being more or less mainstream. And while that's good in some ways, it's also made things very difficult in others. Fanfiction, in some places and in some ways, feels more like being a "content producer" like some hideous Instagram influencer or Youtuber than it feels like just writing whatever randomness you think is fun or enjoyable today. There seems to be a lot of pressure to focus on stats, feedback, how well you're "performing," comparing yourself to others, etc, etc.
I hate all of this. Comparing stats is a game best not played, and dwelling too much on stats is a surefire route to depression no matter what they are. My own favourite stories aren't my most popular ones, they're the ones that I reread after some time and think, "yeah, I did good with that one!" As someone who writes all kinds of different stories, there are times I value getting just a couple of kudos on a femslash rarepair more than I value getting tons of kudos on a very popular m/m ship.
I want to make people happy (for values of "happy" that can sometimes mean crying buckets) with what I write, and the numbers on that don't really matter. Just as long as I make someone happy, just one person is enough. So my view on stats is: I get my kudos email and it makes me happy. I get a comment and it makes me happy (well, assuming it's a nice comment). I check my stats every now and again, usually when it comes up in memes.
I view fanfic as playtime, as an opportunity to explore and mess around and experiment. I have very few headcanons, ships, or perspectives that I see as set in stone, and I'm always pushing at my own boundaries in terms of what I'll both read and write. Sometimes I find out I don't particularly want to write certain kinds of fic, but I'm always glad I tried. I've written experiences from my own life in a fictionalised format, things I would love to try but are impossible, things I wouldn't ever do, and things I find morally repugnant in real life.
I strongly feel there should be very few limits on what a person can write about. I wouldn't necessarily want to read certain things, but I'll defend to the death a person's right to write them. Ultimately what matters is, is it well-written? What a person writes about in fiction is not reflective of their real-world moral viewpoint, and honestly one of the worst ideas floating around fandom today is a belief by some people (usually very young people) that it is.
Fictional people should not be treated like real people, and real people should not be treated like fictional people. One of the biggest problems fandom has right now is this tendency to attack real people, real authors or artists, because they've created something that "harms" a fictional person. Antis* dismiss the pain that they are causing to real human beings in favour of getting upset about the "pain" a fictional character might be in, and that is absolutely the wrong way around.
Fictional characters are fictional; ultimately they don't matter, they are toys, dolls. Fictional characters are there to be played with. I cannot fathom valuing them over a real person, cannot imagine causing harm to a person because of what they created, no matter how distasteful I might find it.
*Antis: people who are opposed to others writing certain kinds of stories or creating certain kinds of art, usually involving dark topics such as rape, incest, or underage sex. Antis attack and harass creators, and have driven some people to self-harm or suicide.
I've been in fandom for a very long time -- over half my life, and I've seen fandom (by which I mostly mean fanworks-style fandom) go from a sort of niche hobby to being more or less mainstream. And while that's good in some ways, it's also made things very difficult in others. Fanfiction, in some places and in some ways, feels more like being a "content producer" like some hideous Instagram influencer or Youtuber than it feels like just writing whatever randomness you think is fun or enjoyable today. There seems to be a lot of pressure to focus on stats, feedback, how well you're "performing," comparing yourself to others, etc, etc.
I hate all of this. Comparing stats is a game best not played, and dwelling too much on stats is a surefire route to depression no matter what they are. My own favourite stories aren't my most popular ones, they're the ones that I reread after some time and think, "yeah, I did good with that one!" As someone who writes all kinds of different stories, there are times I value getting just a couple of kudos on a femslash rarepair more than I value getting tons of kudos on a very popular m/m ship.
I want to make people happy (for values of "happy" that can sometimes mean crying buckets) with what I write, and the numbers on that don't really matter. Just as long as I make someone happy, just one person is enough. So my view on stats is: I get my kudos email and it makes me happy. I get a comment and it makes me happy (well, assuming it's a nice comment). I check my stats every now and again, usually when it comes up in memes.
I view fanfic as playtime, as an opportunity to explore and mess around and experiment. I have very few headcanons, ships, or perspectives that I see as set in stone, and I'm always pushing at my own boundaries in terms of what I'll both read and write. Sometimes I find out I don't particularly want to write certain kinds of fic, but I'm always glad I tried. I've written experiences from my own life in a fictionalised format, things I would love to try but are impossible, things I wouldn't ever do, and things I find morally repugnant in real life.
I strongly feel there should be very few limits on what a person can write about. I wouldn't necessarily want to read certain things, but I'll defend to the death a person's right to write them. Ultimately what matters is, is it well-written? What a person writes about in fiction is not reflective of their real-world moral viewpoint, and honestly one of the worst ideas floating around fandom today is a belief by some people (usually very young people) that it is.
Fictional people should not be treated like real people, and real people should not be treated like fictional people. One of the biggest problems fandom has right now is this tendency to attack real people, real authors or artists, because they've created something that "harms" a fictional person. Antis* dismiss the pain that they are causing to real human beings in favour of getting upset about the "pain" a fictional character might be in, and that is absolutely the wrong way around.
Fictional characters are fictional; ultimately they don't matter, they are toys, dolls. Fictional characters are there to be played with. I cannot fathom valuing them over a real person, cannot imagine causing harm to a person because of what they created, no matter how distasteful I might find it.
*Antis: people who are opposed to others writing certain kinds of stories or creating certain kinds of art, usually involving dark topics such as rape, incest, or underage sex. Antis attack and harass creators, and have driven some people to self-harm or suicide.
