encompass worlds

I just realised I haven't updated since my birthday in January!

I've been quite ill for the last couple of months, starting near the end of March. I was even in hospital for a couple of nights in April trying to figure out what it was. Ultimately the conclusion was more or less a shrug from the doctors with a sideline of "uhh, pancreatitis?" which is as good an explanation as any.

I'm getting better now though still not back to 100%. This really took it out of me: it was weeks and weeks of utter fatigue, nausea, muscle soreness, and worst of all, a constant pain in my left side (which is wrong for pancreatitis, but could have been referred pain). But the only identifiable change that was visible to doctors was raised bilirubin.

I've been fully vaccinated against Covid now, I had the AstraZeneca shots, and fortunately the side effects, while present, were very much bearable: mostly fatigue, soreness, and pain in the arm.

Obviously I've been up to very little in terms of writing or any other creative work. However, I have been getting interested in painting miniatures! We bought a resin printer so we could print our own models (in addition to the 3D printer we already had) and I've had fun painting a few things already, though of course I need lots more practice.

I've watched a lot of TV and films: the entirety of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, The Boys, WandaVision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Star Trek: Lower Decks, American Gods, Jupiter's Legacy, The Irregulars, literally every Disney movie available on Disney+, Inside Out, Enola Holmes, and so many more. There is some excellent TV going on these days.

I've been reading Silmarillion fic as always, but have also been reading lots of Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes from TFATWS, who are eminently shippable and wonderful. I enjoyed both Stucky and Steve/Sam and hated the whole ship war thing, so shipping WinterFalcon feels so right, with Steve now out of the picture.

Anyway, I'll try and update a bit more frequently. I've signed up for seasonofkink and tolkienrsb so I'm very excited to get going on those.

Challenge #2: In your own space, talk about your fannish history.

I've been 'in fandom' for over half my life; my first one was Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, good ol' Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan. It didn't take me long to connect the dots and figure out that if Star Wars characters could be slashed, so too could Tolkien characters.

I founded the first mailing list and archive for Tolkien slashfic in September 1999. Though both list and website have been swept out of existence by the hands of time, I have a saved copy of the archive mailing list and the archive itself is now a part of AO3.

I'm primarily a writer. To this date, I've written 624 stories in 85 fandoms, 302 of them in Silmarillion fandom (all but a couple of those since 2015). A lot of those 85 fandoms are literal one-offs, but I've written quite a few stories in Harry Potter, Firefly, Doctor Who, Sutcliff books, Highlander, etc as well. My current word count for the last twenty years is nearly 900,000, and the vast majority of that consists of short-ish fics. I love a PWP, but I also love worldbuilding, friendship, and gen fic. I'm a total multishipper -- I don't think I've EVER shipped two characters together exclusively, it's not in my nature. I paddle a dozen rareship canoes and in a lot of cases, I've written the first story for ships or characters that others took up later, such as Lúthien/Galadriel, Túrin/Beleg, Anairë/Ëarwen/Nerdanel, Barahir/Finrod, and the first full-on Fëanorian OT8 fic (for that one I owe my beloved friend M for all the inspiration).

I'm not just a writer, though. Other things I've done include keeping multiple archives (one for Velvet Goldmine fic, one for Gladiator fic, and others, all now lost to time), creating a couple of songvids, creating fanmixes on 8tracks, running the challenges Merry Is Maytime and Fëanorian Fun Bingo, and the yearly gift exchange Innumerable Stars.

My goal has generally been to keep a level head and not get caught up in drama. At times, drama has found me and I've lost my head a bit, but for the most part, I like to think I've kept it firmly affixed. For me, fandom is supposed to be fun, and if it's not fun, that's my cue to back off. I've made loads of wonderful friendships (and found partners) via fandom, and I'm genuinely happy with where I am and what I'm doing. I try not to stress about hits/kudos ratios or how many comments I get. Each kudos and each comment is a gift which I'm very glad to see.

I regularly test my boundaries and push myself to write new and different things over time. I don't rehash the same things over and over, or at least I try not to. I've written things I wouldn't normally have read; I've written my most beloved kinks; I've written stories I never thought I would write but turned out to love; I've written stories that got unexpectedly popular; I've written stories that sank like a stone.

Fandom has been a source of happiness and fun for me for the last twenty years, and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.