I think (for me) the being scammed for money was less important than the abuser wanting to feed on ‘me’, like Ungoliant. Time, stories, thoughts and characters that all took many years to develop, the emotional abuse, the ‘energy vampire’ aspect, being deceived and used all matter more.

Yes I’d have liked to have done something more useful with the money but you never know if the charity aid posts on Tumblr are real or not either; you just make a judgement call and the shame is theirs if they are con artists. I sold things on Ebay to send money so I didn’t leave myself short, but I’d rather have given it to a genuine charity.