*hugs* It can be hard to learn to listen to your instincts, because they warn you off before you've consciously noticed the warning signs, so you're telling yourself things like "I shouldn't judge" or "that's just their sense of humour" or "they're having a hard time."

It's important to note that these people also try their hardest to be charming and friendly while they're 'courting' you, so this can sometimes trip your senses up, like "why am I getting a bad vibe about this person who's being so nice to me?"

It's worth being cautious and careful, of course, and I've personally never had a situation where my initial negative instincts about somebody turned out to be wrong, but I would also not rely solely on instinct alone. I would always like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Though I have been in situations where I have initial bad vibes about someone, then they do something that falls into this list of warning signs, and I nope out of there so fast you can see the dust cloud. My acquaintance with the person who became known as Thanfiction basically went like that: first pseudo-suicide and I was out of there.