Elwin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elwinfortuna) wrote2023-01-11 11:08 am
elwinfortuna) wrote2023-01-11 11:08 am
Entry tags:
Fannish Fifty #1: My history in fandom
I've seen several other people writing up their own fannish history for Fannish Fifty, so I figured I would do the same.
If I hadn't, one sunny August afternoon in 1999 in Phoenix, Arizona, taken my rattly old Subaru down to a movie theatre to see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, my life would be completely different. I would not have moved to Scotland or met anyone who is currently reading this. I don't know what my life would be like, but I choose to think this is one of the better possibilities. Fandom is inextricably intertwined with the rest of my life, and it has given me so much.
I was already a little bit aware of the Internet. I'm pretty sure by this point I'd already made my own Geocities horror, now long lost to the mists of time. I'd found Yahoo!Clubs, which were a thing around that era. I was to some degree already participating in fandom: I was discussing LOTR's forthcoming movies with various people, but it was seeing TPM that made me look for more. I discovered mailing lists, and specifically a general list for fans of Qui-Gon Jinn. Then someone posted a link to a website, all "warning, this is slash," and I was like, "I've no idea what slash is but I'm curious." The website itself repeated the warnings but I just blithely scrolled down and pretty much clicked a link at random.
Whereupon I was, of course, blindsided by the fact that you could write smut about fictional characters!!!!! I was already aware of written erotica, having read my fair share of horrible het romance by the simple method of just sitting down on the library floor and reading it. I'd read some gay erotica too, via the same method. I had also written some (very gen) fanfiction, of a kind, though it was not something I was aware anyone else did, and not something I'd ever thought of showing anyone else.
Anyway, that was a revelation. I quickly made my way to the master-apprentice list, consumed everything I could find, wrote a bit of my own, then had another startling revelation: hey, I can do this with Tolkien characters too! But when I went out to try and find any "slash" for Tolkien characters, it was not to be found. Totally nonexistent. Nowhere to be seen. The best I managed was to find a story that could be argued to be proto-slash.
So, as the saying goes, build it and they will come*. I built it. I founded the mailing list tolkien_slash in September 1999, then a website and fanfic archive to go along with it. People began to join, posted fic, posted art, had amazing discussions, life was good. FOTR the movie came out, and the list exploded in volume, and it only increased as time went on. I was writing my own fic, now in several different fandoms, Highlander, Sentinel, and of course more Tolkien. I wrote the first Silmarillion fic (it was Luthien/Galadriel). I made a LiveJournal, met awibbble with no idea of the significance of that first meeting. Met other people too. Figured out I was bisexual.
I'm going to skip a bunch of real life stuff that happened during the years 2002-2004 but basically, I wound up married towibbble and in Scotland. Along the way, my website got TOS'd and I wasn't able to find a new home for it. (I saved the files, very carefully, and eventually managed to find them a home at AO3, many years later.)
It quickly became apparent that I had a lot of catching up to do. Over the next few years, I got introduced to Babylon 5, Doctor Who, Firefly, Buffy and Angel, Torchwood, the BBC's Robin Hood, and so much more. But during this period, fandom kind of took a back seat in my life in favour of dealing with living in a new country, earning money, and struggling with all the mental health issues left behind as reminders of my very very not healthy and happy childhood and teenage years.
In 2012, I finally got the counsellor I needed, and slowly started building back my enjoyment in life, and a big part of that was fandom and writing fanfic. I discovered Rosemary Sutcliff's novels around this point.
Then in early 2015, I reread the Silmarillion because I wanted to finish writing a series that was in my head. This coincided with Back to Middle-earth Month, and what resulted can only be described as an explosion of writing. I wrote more in 2015 than I ever have before or since, almost all of it Silmfic. I was inspired by everything, I wrote everything I wanted to, and I just kept writing and writing, all through 2016 and part of 2017 as well.
Things slowed down in the latter part of 2017, and haven't really picked back up again, though I'm hoping that 2023 will be good to me for writing. In 2021, I stumbled across Chinese dramas and novels, starting with The Untamed and MDZS, then moving on to Heaven Official's Blessing (novel and donghua) and then Word of Honor.
And as for what has happened with regards to Word of Honor and being in the fandom for its actors, that is a long tale all on its own, and a story for another day.
*and they did. And how!
.
If I hadn't, one sunny August afternoon in 1999 in Phoenix, Arizona, taken my rattly old Subaru down to a movie theatre to see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, my life would be completely different. I would not have moved to Scotland or met anyone who is currently reading this. I don't know what my life would be like, but I choose to think this is one of the better possibilities. Fandom is inextricably intertwined with the rest of my life, and it has given me so much.
I was already a little bit aware of the Internet. I'm pretty sure by this point I'd already made my own Geocities horror, now long lost to the mists of time. I'd found Yahoo!Clubs, which were a thing around that era. I was to some degree already participating in fandom: I was discussing LOTR's forthcoming movies with various people, but it was seeing TPM that made me look for more. I discovered mailing lists, and specifically a general list for fans of Qui-Gon Jinn. Then someone posted a link to a website, all "warning, this is slash," and I was like, "I've no idea what slash is but I'm curious." The website itself repeated the warnings but I just blithely scrolled down and pretty much clicked a link at random.
Whereupon I was, of course, blindsided by the fact that you could write smut about fictional characters!!!!! I was already aware of written erotica, having read my fair share of horrible het romance by the simple method of just sitting down on the library floor and reading it. I'd read some gay erotica too, via the same method. I had also written some (very gen) fanfiction, of a kind, though it was not something I was aware anyone else did, and not something I'd ever thought of showing anyone else.
Anyway, that was a revelation. I quickly made my way to the master-apprentice list, consumed everything I could find, wrote a bit of my own, then had another startling revelation: hey, I can do this with Tolkien characters too! But when I went out to try and find any "slash" for Tolkien characters, it was not to be found. Totally nonexistent. Nowhere to be seen. The best I managed was to find a story that could be argued to be proto-slash.
So, as the saying goes, build it and they will come*. I built it. I founded the mailing list tolkien_slash in September 1999, then a website and fanfic archive to go along with it. People began to join, posted fic, posted art, had amazing discussions, life was good. FOTR the movie came out, and the list exploded in volume, and it only increased as time went on. I was writing my own fic, now in several different fandoms, Highlander, Sentinel, and of course more Tolkien. I wrote the first Silmarillion fic (it was Luthien/Galadriel). I made a LiveJournal, met a
wibbble with no idea of the significance of that first meeting. Met other people too. Figured out I was bisexual. I'm going to skip a bunch of real life stuff that happened during the years 2002-2004 but basically, I wound up married to
wibbble and in Scotland. Along the way, my website got TOS'd and I wasn't able to find a new home for it. (I saved the files, very carefully, and eventually managed to find them a home at AO3, many years later.) It quickly became apparent that I had a lot of catching up to do. Over the next few years, I got introduced to Babylon 5, Doctor Who, Firefly, Buffy and Angel, Torchwood, the BBC's Robin Hood, and so much more. But during this period, fandom kind of took a back seat in my life in favour of dealing with living in a new country, earning money, and struggling with all the mental health issues left behind as reminders of my very very not healthy and happy childhood and teenage years.
In 2012, I finally got the counsellor I needed, and slowly started building back my enjoyment in life, and a big part of that was fandom and writing fanfic. I discovered Rosemary Sutcliff's novels around this point.
Then in early 2015, I reread the Silmarillion because I wanted to finish writing a series that was in my head. This coincided with Back to Middle-earth Month, and what resulted can only be described as an explosion of writing. I wrote more in 2015 than I ever have before or since, almost all of it Silmfic. I was inspired by everything, I wrote everything I wanted to, and I just kept writing and writing, all through 2016 and part of 2017 as well.
Things slowed down in the latter part of 2017, and haven't really picked back up again, though I'm hoping that 2023 will be good to me for writing. In 2021, I stumbled across Chinese dramas and novels, starting with The Untamed and MDZS, then moving on to Heaven Official's Blessing (novel and donghua) and then Word of Honor.
And as for what has happened with regards to Word of Honor and being in the fandom for its actors, that is a long tale all on its own, and a story for another day.
*and they did. And how!
.